Welcome to Guardamar

Guardamar has very small dogs
Jose's dog Pancho breathes like an old man with asthma
Grilled cheese is literally...grilled cheese
Hamburger means patty without buns
Hot pot means soup
Macaroni means penne
No one refrigerates their eggs
The menu changes everyday, even though it doesn't change everyday
Due to lack of stress, people here live longer
The most stressed you will ever be will be during a soccer match
There are jellyfish in the sea (watch out when the water is calm)
The closest hospital is in Torrevieja
Cafe Elegime has the best wifi, but hates "Chinos"
Weigh your fruit and put a price sticker on your bag at the grocery store before you pay
If you need to buy ALSA bus tickets, you need a Paypal account (or a Spanish credit card)

Bus air conditioning is cold

Bus drivers drive at ~40mph

11am is coffee time
2pm is siesta time
8pm is when work ends
The sun goes down AFTER 9pm
Spanish style means 30 minutes late (or 2 hours late)
Sometimes the bedsheets smell like old sweat, deal with it
The 24 hour store is not a 24 hour store, those liars
Tupperware is NECESSARY
Wine is cheaper than water
Wifi is pronouced as "wee-fee"
The red tile sidewalks are slippery
You will see boobies at the beach, but only aged ones

-Tiffany Y.