1. You won't find a cold beverage in supermarkets. They are so right, soda, water, and juice are way better warm… yummy!
2. Sunday isn't a day to relax. It is a day to do nothing. The Spanish take being lazy very seriously.
3. Everything takes 3 times longer to get accomplished. If they say something is going to be ready on Monday it will be ready on Friday… or next Monday… or a month later. Don't hold your breathe.
4. Fastfood isn't fast. And no one has ever heard of a value menu. Have fun spending $10 on a Big Mac.
5. No peanut butter means no PB&J's.
6. The public transit company gets irate when a group of people actually buys all their tickets and fills up their buses. Driving around half filled buses is way better…that way you can take a whole row to yourself.
7. Condiments at restaurants don't come in bottles, they come in packets. It takes about 10 packets of ketchup for 8 fries… but they will only give you 3. You are a greedy asshole if you try to nab 6 packs.
8. They have great washers, but you won't find a dryer here. Try the air.
9. Tap water has a slight dash of chlorine to it. And I thought water with lemon was good.
10. Stores are closed more then they are open. I dare you to buy anything between the hours of 3:00pm and 5:00pm from someone who isn't Chinese.
11. You get what you pay for. You may not be expected to tip, but your waiter will act like you killed his cat.
12. General safety. Open flames and drunk people are a must for any good party.
13. If you can't walk and require a wheelchair you would be better off hiring a sherpa to cary you places. ADA is just so American…
14. Lots of 13 year olds smoke cigarettes. Spanish people just understand being cool so much younger than Americans.
15. Getting chased by wild, man-slaying animals is not only a sport, but it is a reason to shut down a city, cover each other in sangria, and barf all over the place… for a week straight.
16. You get into clubs for free. But if you want to leave you have to buy a drink. Bouncers just really want to make sure you have a good time and get a little more drunk… Then you can go home.
17. If the power goes off, it doesn't come back on in a few hours. It comes back on in a few days.
18. Harry Potter will reach theaters at the same time as the US. But you will have to watch Harry duke it out with Voldemort in Spanish. "Vayase Ya Voldemort!"
19. Public transit keeps a tight schedule… unless Nadal is playing in the finals of Wimbledon. It is great stopping abruptly in the middle of nowhere to watch the entire final set of a match with the entire bus.
And one thing I took for granted in Spain: Vicente. I don't think I will ever find someone as energetic and full of life as you back in the states.
-Kenneth
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